dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
