Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
