Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
