id be glad to
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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