I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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