yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
