i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
