i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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