I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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