Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
