by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
