There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My vagina just recognized that song.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
