So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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