did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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