so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
