Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize