now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
