i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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