We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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