You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
