i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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