If that was your dad, he is hot
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
