Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
