I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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