so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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