yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Four minutes until I can fart!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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