would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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