Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
