I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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