I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
