Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
