I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm like, not good at living.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
