I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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