They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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