It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
