ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
