So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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