but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
