We won't sleep together?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
