There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
