So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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