i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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