I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
