I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
