I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I would fuck him just for his dog
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize