Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
