11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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