my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We are all done wearing pants today
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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