Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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