Do you still have your period?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
