Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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