I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
