Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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