what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
