my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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