He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
