I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
