I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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