everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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