I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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